The Gory Details

I’ve been having way too much fun with this halloween decorating thing the last couple of days so I’ll give you a short tour… see if you can see what’s been going Bump in the night… Mwuhahaha.

 

Rattle, rattle

 

This guy has been hanging around the pantry, I guess he needs to put some “meat on his bones”… ugh, ok that was just bad, and I can hear you groaning too, but what other explanation could there be?

 

Bill

 

 

Ted

 

Then we have these two incorporeal fellows that have popped up in a couple of our display stands.  At least they smell good, Bill has nestled himself among the Pot Pourri and although you can’ see it, Ted seems to be enjoying the Bath Bombs.  I wonder if they know how good they smell?

 

Skulls 3/$1.00

 

From what I understand these are the last known members of a small tribe of murmuring braincases (otherwise known as talking heads).  They are said to hail from the bad lands of Spooksilvania.  Or they could just be Bill & Ted’s smaller cousins.  You decide 🙂  I just call them skulls.

In my last post, there was some speculation as to how Uncle John met his (untimely?) end.  Well the speculation continues.  This is a closer look at the bottle that has been suspected of the ill doing.

 

 

Need we say More?

 

 

A Closer Look

 

But while doing a little fall fouling of the Family Crypt, we came upon this item for your perusal.

 

Dr. Oddbody's Elixer

 

 

A Close-up

 

Now it must be said that although Uncle John seemed a very hail and hardy gentleman, he did suffer from most if not all of these common ailments… Uncle John it seems was a bit of an hypochondriac.
From all the literature that I have found on this particular nostrum, it is “GUARANTEED TO CURE 100% OF THESE COMMON AILMENTS AND MANY MORE”  From what I can deduce from this bottle of “snake oil” is the way in which it cures you of these complaints.  You may think that our “side effects” of our modern pharmaceuticals pushed upon us by our local quacks leaves much to be desired, but back in Uncle Johns time they pretty much spelled it out for you, if you take the time to read it.

 

Precautions & Dr. Oddbody's Address

 

Upon inspection of this bottle, I notice that not a single drop remains.  If by chance Uncle John did imbibe of the contents, then by his own hand he was “cured” of each and every  affliction he suffered from, and then some.  And if this is the case, then Dr. Oddbody’s Cure All Elixir & Patent Medicine did what it was supposed to do.  I certainly don’t hear Uncle John complaining any more.
But this still hasn’t answered our question about how Uncle John when peacefully into that good night.  Was it by his own hand or was it… (insert suspense music here… Dum, dum, dum) MURDER?????
As I mentioned before I was doing a little fall fouling of the Family Crypt … it’s kinda like spring cleaning but the opposite, ya know dusting, adding just a few cobwebs, making sure the spiders are in all the right corners.  It gives the place that died in feeling… Anyway as I was saying, I found these .

 

Skull Match Boxes .89 ea

 

I guess Great Aunt Grizelda must have left them tucked away for Uncle John to spark up his Meerschaum whenever the urge hit.  Now Aunt Grizelda hated Uncle John smoking… she thought it would be the death of him…  but he did enjoy his Meerschaum every once in a while.  Aunt Grizelda could have a bit of a mean streak in her,  these were tucked in a sealed box, it took 3 able bodied people to pry it open to see what the contents were!!  And if that wasn’t bad enough, guess what wasn’t left behind for him… yep, his Meerschaum and his pipe tobacco!!!  But after all these years in a cold damp mouldering environment, they still come alight on the first strike.
Now don’t get me wrong, our ancestors weren’t all mean.  There was a sweet side to them too, and here’s the proof.

 

Jack O' Lantern All Day Suckers $2.99 ea.

 

These yummy suckers are 4″ wide by 5″ tall and are 140 g of sugary goodness.  How’s that for sweet for ya?

Well, that’s all for now.  I told ya I was having way too much fun!!!  Who knows what other items and kooky stories my brain will come up with next.  Please let me know what you think of my posts… are you enjoying them, or am  I just amusing myself?
Unpleasant Dreams,
Scary Sherry
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